It’s starting to become very apparent to me how much Connor is actually soaking in.  For instance, Terence and I watch the morning news while we get ready for work in the mornings.  Which is a tornado in itself. Connor is usually in our room too and I’m sure he’s been seeing all the news about the planes going down and stuff like that (let’s not even get started on the Ebola virus…which is scaring the **** out of me!!!  Maybe I should just ban myself from watching the news?  But it’s good to be in the know right? Whatevs.

So, Terence was on a business trip earlier this week and Connor saw a plane on the news and said “Did my Daddy die in an airplane?” WTH-eck?  “Of course not!” “Why would you think that?”

Seriously that scared me and I was just thinking how in the world he would have picked that up!

Then earlier this week he told me “Mom I really miss my church friends and I want to go back to Sunday school”.   Queue the MOM FAIL.  We’ve had visitors from out-of-town every weekend for the last month and are too lazy to get our bums out of bed and go to church.  But he’s noticing and that hurts my heart.  That’s like God saying “BAM!  You need a reality check Becky.”

In the words of Beverly Goldberg (My favorite TV Mom)

“I have failed as a MOTHER!”

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a perfect person and definitely not a perfect wife or mom.  I fail a TON.

First and foremost I want my family to feel loved and like they are my top priority.  I hope they know this.  It’s crazy how life gets in the way and all of a sudden you forget the little things that seep in the cracks.

Other thoughts:

Sure, I’d like to lose 30 lbs.  But am I willing to give up my mean chocolate habit? Uhm…………..Occasionally.

I haven’t had that “Aha” moment and I’m certainly not going to go on a cleanse or post pictures of myself half-naked on Instagram showing how fit I am or how much weight I’ve lost.  Although I am proud of these women…dang it makes me feel like poo.

Seriously how do these people exercise a bazillion hours a day and do everything else that needs to get done?  Their stories are inspiring….but I want to read about something OTHER than before and after pics and how many calories they’ve burned that day. Gah.  (That’s just myself saying boo on me)  Guilty as charged.

Because frankly, after 8+ hours of work I just want to sit on my sofa & watch The Mindy Project and drink a glass of wine.

Also, the outfit posts.  Oh the fashion blogging storm….mercy.  I like fashion just like the next chick.  I love to shop. But how in the WORLD do people post different outfits every.single.day and I’m sitting here wearing the same pants 3 days in a row?  I love the outfits, I like the fashion inspirational posts…..but again….I want to read more than what brand of jeans you are wearing that day.  And about your $3,000 shoes.  Like, what is actually in your noggin?

I’m going on a little rant here that I didn’t intend to…..

I’m feeling out loud and probably over-sharing too much….blah….blah….blah.  But I want to read about YOUR lives….as I know you want to read about mine.  (Yes I have the occasional review post because I’m NOT made of $$$ and it doesn’t grow on trees and as long as it’s something I would enjoy doing…they why not!)  DON’T JUDGE. And I don’t want to forget why I started blogging in the first place.  To read about every day challenges and have that support system.

And someone to honestly tell me what it’s like and smack me over the head and say “Get it together!”

I’m not saying to stop what you’re doing.  Just show more of yourself.  Being honest, raw, and not being ashamed of what you have to say is something in itself.

Love you peeps.  Thanks for listening and have a happy Thursday!

“Orange you glad it’s Thursday?”