Life has definitely changed over the past six months.
(Possible long post ahead)
My sister in law Rebecca and I were talking the other day and she was telling me how she wanted to get back into playing the harp and piano. She went on to tell me how she felt it was something she let slip and fall to the wayside. Rebecca is truly a talented musician and you can tell this is something her heart desires in life. I guess it got me to thinking of life in general and most of all where life takes us.
I don’t think anyone’s life has turned out they way they fully intended it to be. But ask yourself this: “Is it supposed to be how we want it to be or how God wants it to be?” The paths we are on right now may not be something we envisioned for ourselves, but rather what God envisioned for us. I know Terence and I have both slipped up several times over the years. We’ve struggled and at times life has been down right hard and sometimes depressing. We realize now we wouldn’t be at the point we are without those hard times to learn from.
When Bonnie and I graduated high school we both had high aspirations of going to an art school and majoring in some design field. Bonnie is an AMAZING artist…I wish she would post some of her designs on her blog. She was always much better than me! Anyway-life took us both on separate paths and we each went down our own roads. I never thought we would live so far apart from each other or our family.
Bonnie and I both had scholarships to a good college. I had a full scholarship plus a $1200 stipend each semester. Basically I was getting paid to go to school! I met Terence my first year of college and we fell head over heels for each other. Eventually school seemed not so important anymore-this amazing guy was in my life and we would spend every waking minute together! We both weren’t focused on school at that point in our lives. We only had eyes for each other. Do I regret letting all of that go now? Of course I do! I don’t think at 18 I knew what I had then…but I don’t beat myself with a stick over it. My heart wasn’t in it. I know that this life I have now is the one God intended for me. And all the choices I’ve made up until this point-good & bad-were the right ones and it’s where I am supposed to be. Bonnie and I both still have a love for art and all things creative. And we can still use those skills in our everyday lives! I know someday there will be an art or science project the boys will come home with and we will be so excited to help with it 🙂
I’m so fortunate that my husband has the drive that I don’t have. It took him years to figure things out for himself and lots of discipline training, a few BAD jobs…and he decided he needed to change the way his life was heading. Of course I was along for the ride! He joined the military, served active duty for almost 5 years, accomplished his bachelor degree in two years, and an MBA in one year. And he’s now “considering” law school someday *shutter*. He is honestly the most disciplined person you will ever meet and he accomplishes everything he sets his mind to. We are complete OPPOSITES! ha..ha.. I look up to him and we’ve had amazing support from both of our families throughout the years. I think Terence knows that I will never make a lot of money or be the bread winner for our family. I am happy in this life and that is what matters most….that I am happy. I love my hubby.
Am I happy? YES
Do I have regrets? YES
Am I where I am supposed to be? YES
Life – it’s such a beautiful gift. No matter how far you keep pushing your hearts desires away….they have a way of coming back to find you! With all the highs and lows…there is so much to be thankful for!
You all know I am a chocoholic!
