Hello?  Hello?  Dusting off the old blog here….

I sit here as a new mom again.  I started this blog waaaay back in 2006.  Long before Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  I find myself scrolling through memory lane frequently these days asking myself “What did I do when Connor was the same age Heidi is now?”  It’s true you forget things.  It’s so fun to see where we were at this point in our lives back then.  How little Connor used to be and the joy he brings.  I have met so many great friends through this blog.  So many other moms I’ve connected with on every level.

The last couple of months haven’t been without their struggles and sleepless nights, but they have also let me see certain things about my life I wouldn’t have without Heidi here.  The days are incredibly long and sometimes tiring.  I know this is a season and we’ll eventually get to leave the house without a panic.  I’ll be able to leave and not bring a diaper bag, breast pump, and all the extra things a baby requires.  I know that now….almost 10 years later because I’ve been through it before.

This too shall pass.  Not that I’m wishing time away…but life had gotten easy and simple the last few years.  Connor no longer requires supervision all the time.  He can use the bathroom on his own and dress himself.  Now, getting him to clean his room and bathe is another story!  I do miss the naps I would take and all the books I would read, but I also know in the grand scheme of life there’s a certain window for things.  Right now we have opened another window and someday it will shut and we won’t be able to open it again.  I’ll look through it and glance back at all the memories, but it won’t ever open.

Life is short and so fleeting.  I’m trying to remain positive, even when the days are long, I know they don’t last forever.

A job won’t last forever.  Friends won’t last forever.  A car won’t last forever.  Anything of this world won’t last….but hopefully the impact I’ve made on my kids and family will.  At this point a decade ago I was returning back to work and leaving Connor in the care of my sister-in-law.  I remember crying all the way to work that day thinking to myself “What kind of mother am I to just leave her tiny baby like this?”  Like everything else in life we eventually found a new routine and a new normal.  The days and nights turned to into months, and months into years.

This time around I work part time and I’m so lucky I can do most of my job from home.  I do miss adult conversations and the daily grind of a job some days.  I’m trying to soak in these days with just Heidi and I because this time around I know it’s such a short amount of time.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, I just know it’s freeing to write.  If you’re still with me then good for YOU!  The art of writing is slowly fading away in favor of an “instant” society where all we want to read tiny captions under perfectly styled photos.  I can tell you right now my day to day life isn’t that glamorous, but it’s authentic.  We all know I still enjoy the occasional Starbucks selfie.  Ha!

I sit here and write because everything has changed, but change can be good.  Not everything has to be about you all the time.  God is consistently teaching and showing me things and even though I don’t get it right all the time I know my heart is in everything I do.  Being a parent is the most sacrificial and self serving thing you can do.  It’s also the most rewarding and wonderful job in the world.

Connor & Heidi….I hope no matter how things change in the world you always know how much I love you and everything your Mama did was with heart.